MONTOYA Y LA RUMOROLOGÍA.

Cómo gobernar en la perpetua mentira al ciudadano
La pasada semana nuestra Asociación (CXC) explicaba dos asuntos que afectan a nuestra ciudad: el PELOTAZO de la Plaza de Toros (pelotazo para los actuales dueños) y la posibilidad de construir más de 1000 viviendas de integración social en el barrio de Leganés Norte.
A partir de aquí el Sr. Montoya, en su blog, que no tiene nada de rumorología (apenas se cumple lo que en él se dice), intenta desmontar lo que para ÉL son rumores. Todo ello para que en los días siguientes nos vaya confirmando todas y cada una de las cuestiones que decía que eran rumores. Veamos.
La compra de la plaza de toros por el Ayuntamiento.
Por mucho que se esfuercen no van a convencer a nadie que lo hacen por temas de seguridad, cuando por cierto siguen permitiendo que bares ubicados en la plaza de toros no cumplan la normativa legal.
El ínclito Calle decía en el Pleno Municipal que pretenden hacer un centro de ocio y cultural para miles de jóvenes (¿?). El diseño no da ni para un circo romano.
Expliquen la verdad. Lo que los vecinos manejan en la calle. Lo hacen para beneficiar a los dueños, que por cierto hasta ahora guardan un riguroso silencio, entendemos que aconsejados por ustedes.
Ya que usted aclara los rumores, confírmenos algunos:
¿Es verdad que informó a su grupo de que el rescate supondría un coste de 25 millones de euros?
¿En cuánto valoran el lucro cesante los actuales dueños de la Plaza de Toros?
¿Estaban hechos los informes de tasación previamente a tomar ustedes el acuerdo?
¿Se hacen los informes de tasación debido a que existen otros que ponen una cantidad irrisoria –entendemos para ustedes y los actuales dueños- para el rescate?
Pero lo más importante:
Cuando se nos está pidiendo esfuerzos económicos a los ciudadanos por parte del Gobierno y de que nos tenemos que apretar el cinturón hasta ponernos la cara congestionada: ¿Cómo justifican ustedes tres PSOE-PP-IU gastarse esa burrada de millones de euros en comprar una plaza de toros?
Alguien entendería que Zapatero, que nos está pidiendo grandes esfuerzos debido a la crisis económica, ¿comprara para el gobierno al Barça?
¿Cómo exigen ustedes inversiones a otras administraciones cuando sus recursos los invierten en una plaza de toros?
¿Cuántas viviendas para jóvenes y cuantas inversiones en cada uno de los barrios se pueden hacer con lo que pretenden gastarse en una Plaza de Toros?
La posibilidad de construcción de 1.000 viviendas de integración social en el Leganés Norte.
El Sr. Montoya ya nos confirma:
Que donde se preveía construir equipamientos para la ciudad ahora se cede a la Comunidad de Madrid como Redes Supramunicipales en las que se pueden construir viviendas de integración social.
A continuación nos dice que no permitirá que se construyan más viviendas de este tipo mientras que otros ayuntamientos no cumplan con su cupo (¿?). Por lo que deducimos que confirma que se pueden hacer este tipo de viviendas.
Pero si no quieres que se hagan este tipo de viviendas ¿Por qué cedes los terrenos a la Comunidad de Madrid? ¿Por qué cedes los terrenos en esa zona y no en otra del término municipal? ¿Por qué cedes terreno sabiendo que se pueden hacer las viviendas de esta tipología?
Cuando habéis planificado esta operación lo hacéis ampliando el uso posible de dicho suelo específicamente para viviendas de integración social, porque así consta en los acuerdos municipales.
Pero si tan solo fuera un rumor no os pondríais a presionar a la Asociación de Vecinos de Leganés Norte tanto el PSOE como IU, haciendo ambos llamadas de teléfono hasta cuatro veces a varios miembros de la directiva.
Dice el alcalde que no va a consentir la construcción de este tipo de viviendas, ¿cómo lo va a hacer?. Después de que prepara el suelo, se lo entrega a la Comunidad de Madrid, ¿ahora le va a decir que no puede construir lo que usted e IU le han permitido?
Por qué no explica cómo se ha llegado a esta situación, que es la siguiente:
No se ha cedido a la Comunidad de Madrid en cada uno de los Planes Parciales las parcelas necesarias para cumplir con la ley en cuanto a las Redes Supramunicipales.
No han cumplido con la ley y ahora pretenden hacerlo de esta manera, reubicando todo el suelo de redes supramunicipales en Leganés Norte.
Para finalizar indicarle Sr. Montoya, como usted bien sabe, que los informes que pública Ciudadanos por el Cambio (CXC) están basados en documentos oficiales. Que en bastantes ocasiones tan solo informamos de lo que ustedes acuerdan y transcriben a las actas de sesiones de los órganos municipales. Por tanto, lo que para usted son rumores (la cruda realidad) los convierte en mentiras.
En este caso la verdad suele ser lo contrario de lo que dice el blog del alcalde. Por tanto, como dijo Séneca, “Nada hay más vil que las mentiras y las medias verdades y para los gobernantes lo mejor es lo aceptado por consentimiento y la sinrazón de muchos que se rigen por la fe ciega en los gobernantes”.
Por tanto, recogiendo el último párrafo del blog del alcalde y haciéndolo nuestro “Rijámonos, pues, por la razón y por la verdad, y conseguiremos entre todas y todos hacer de Leganés una ciudad donde vivir cada vez mejor". Y nosotros añadimos que así sea y que nuestros representantes lo cumplan a rajatabla.
Montoyistas y calletanos temblad maldito, temblad. Solo queda un año
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 18/05/2010 @ 23:34:47)
Pero este año que les queda, hay que tenerlos a dieta, que no pillen.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 00:20:43)
si a la dieta del pescao, todo lo que pesco me lo como
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 09:16:36)
Viva la pesca de IUnica y goobeliana.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 09:55:50)
Desde que le robaron a Cuenca en su chalet y perdio sus inversiones de los sellos está como loco a ver donde se puede hacer comisionista.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 11:20:39)
Al anterior anónimo: Cree el ladrón que todos son de su condición.
Lo que ocurre es que los actuales pueden acabar como los del Gürtell.
Tiempo al tiempo.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 11:47:47)
Que se dejen de tonterias de que si la Plaza de Toros para un centro cultural, a lo mejor se lo ceden a la Asociación de la Tauromaquia como los centros culturales de Leganés Norte y Arroyo Culebro; o que lo hacen por la seguridad de los alrededores.
Que nos expliquen de una vez por todas que sacan de esta operación el PP, el PSOE e IU.
Porque el que nos cuenten otra cosa no se la cree ni DIOS
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 11:54:33)
Pero de guarrerias como el asunto de la Plaza de Toros quedan unas cuantas hasta que llegue el verano:
La Solagua a unos beneficiarios en concreto.
Las pistas de padell a otros en concreto.
La modificación del término municipal para colaborar con unos amigos del partido y que no les pase nada.
La recalificación de la Finca de la Botella para resolver lo mi amigo.
El nuevo PLan General para hacer una buena campaña electoral.
Etc, etc, etc...
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 11:59:23)
estamos de acuerdo que hay que ser solidario y que en tu barrio haya reubicados pero todos juntos?????????? se les fué la hoya??????????
Por
valgo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 15:43:43)
cuando estuvo en Leganés norte el alcalde nos dijo que se harían viviendas para jovenes, y para personas mayores, ¿nos mintio?
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 15:49:33)
esperemos que recapaciten nuestros representantes de IZQUIERDAS y que en la famosa "SG-EQ-4 hagan un buen parque, con pista de aletismo, carril bici, etc,etc
Por
valgo
(enviado 19/05/2010 @ 16:00:32)
Nuestro representantes han recapacitado y llevan al proximo pleno una mocion que pide a la Comunidad que no construya viviendas de integracion.
Luego Ciudadanos tenia razon, a pesar de que en un primer momento el alcalde salio como loco a desmentir tal informacion.
Ello confirma la necedad de Montoya al negar que se fueran a construir viviendas de integracion. Parece que ha recapacitado y como es verdad lo que esta colgado en la web de ciudadanos va a llevar esa mocion al pleno.
Otra vez le han pillado a MOntoya en un renuncio. En definitiva, que los del cambio estan controlando la agenda del gobierno. Parece mentira que con todos los asesores que tienen tengan que ser los de fuera los que avisen al gobierno de lo que puede suceder en el futuro
Despues diran que ciudadanos ha mentido.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 20/05/2010 @ 00:35:01)
Una cosa es lo que pida el Ayuntamiento y otra lo que haga la CAM en sus terrenos.
No creo que todas las viviendas sean de integración, pero alguna sí.
Como dicen los CxC, si el Ayuntamiento hubiera cedido las parcelas que le correspondían a la CAM en los distintos planes parciales, ahora no tendría esa concentración de 1000 viviendas de la CAM en Leganés Norte. El que ha creado el problema es el Ayuntamiento, perjudicando a Leganés Norte.
La CAM tendrá que cubrir las necesidades de realojo en los terrenos que tiene en los distintos municipios y es un poco absurda la petición de Montoya de que los lleven a otros sitios, pero que en Leganés ninguno.
Se comprende la alarma de los vecinos de Leganés Norte, pero estos problemas vienen de la falta de planificación del Ayuntamiento, por quitarle los realojados a otros barrios.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 20/05/2010 @ 01:12:31)
El Ayuntamiento va a pedir que las viviendas de integración se hagan al lado de los chaletes de Cuenca y Maroto, zonas donde hasta ahora no se ha recolocado a ningún ciudadano de integración hasta ahora, excepto a la jet set de leganés, chalets de lujo con piscina, servicios e inmigrantes sin papeles de criadas.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 20/05/2010 @ 23:52:33)
Y otras pocas viviendas de integración al lado del chalé de Montoya, que no se vayan a creer que él no está a favor de la diversidad y la multiculturalidad.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 02:57:21)
El que los de CxC hayan calzado mintiendo a Calle a los vecinos de Leganés Norte les ha jodido.
Calle tiene que saber que cada una que haga de estas, siempre beneficiando a unos en concreto, le van a descubrir.
Que nivel el de IU en Leganés, a ver como piden el voto en Leganés Norte.
Quien ha elaborado el expediente y porpuesta de las viviendas de integración social ha sido Calle-IU. ¡Viva la integración y el urbanismo planificado!
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 10:01:56)
Pero Calle tiene que poner las viviendas de integración lejos de las que construye Montero, pues le devaluaría las urbanizaciones que venden como exclusivas y de alto standing. Para eso peleó tanto por el Urbanismo, para evitar que apareciera alguno con ideas raras sobre la integración y dispersase a los realojados por todo Leganés y le fastidiase el negocio a su ladrillero. Hay que pensar en todo.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 10:31:06)
Qué pretende hacer con SOLAGUA, hacerla gemela de la CUBIERTA?
quedará suelo público para TODOS?
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 22:12:53)
Pues sí, ésa es otra, porque dentro de unos años pueden decidir rescatar la concesión de Solagua y hay que pagarle al empresario, además de las cantidades invertidas en la construcción, los beneficios a percibir en lo que falte para cumplirse el plazo de la concesión. Menudo expolio del patrimonio como permitamos el precedente del pago en terrenos en La Cubierta, porque esto no ha hecho más que empezar.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 22:39:21)
El expediente para concentrar las viviendas de integracion en Leganes Norte lo redactó Olmedillas. Aquel individuo que en le Pleno decia que la ermita de la Mora era de principios del siglo XIX.
Espero que los vecinos de Leganes Norte se acuerden en las proximas elecciones municipales de quien decidió colocar estas viviendas en nuestro barrio
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 21/05/2010 @ 22:45:48)
Espero que los vecinos de Leganés descubran que las mentiras de los Cx la jeta solo tienen como objetivo hacer daño a sus ex de IU, de donde comieron durante 20 años, pero como ahora no tocan pelo todo su cerebro se dirige a manchar a los que los echaron. Pero estos golfos son trabajadores municipales que entraron a dedo en el Ayuntamiento en el año 1985, Cuenca, su señora, o liberados sindicales de CC.OO, en oficina claro, Maroto y la suya. Unos jetas que siempre han vivido del cuento sin dar un palo al agua y que se creían que el IU era suya. Caciques, golfos y comisionistas.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 22/05/2010 @ 23:51:15)
¿Qué tendrá que ver Cuenca o Maroto con las 1000 viviendas de Leganés Norte? Para los vecinos de Leganés Norte la realidad es que tendrán viviendas del IVIMA.
Lo que es una tontería es que Montoya asegure que no va a haber realojos en esa zona, porque no depende del Ayuntamiento sino de la CAM. Al principio lo negaba, pero si llevan al pleno de junio una moción pidiéndole a la CAM que no se hagan viviendas de integración es porque están proyectadas.
Los vecinos de Leganés Norte, en todo caso, deberían estar agradecidos a CxC por destapar este asunto, porque habría sido mucho peor la situación.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 23/05/2010 @ 00:52:57)
Por respeto a las siglas de IU los que entran a despotricar contra CxC y hablan del pasado, lo que deberían hacer es disculparse con el electorado que les ha puesto donde ahora están, no para que pasen el día escribiendo en los blog, sino para que trabajen y si no saben como hacerloque dejen trabajar.
Cuando iu pierda votos en el 2011 ya veremos todo y como se cuenta lo que a su paso van dejando.
Una de calamares, y otra de oreja a la plancha calentitas, hala a currar!!!!
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 23/05/2010 @ 11:45:11)
Esto no cambia por mucho que deje pasar el tiempo, los de ciudadanos por el cambio trabajando y descubriendo verdades, que averguenzan a los inutiles de izquierda hundida, y los alcoholicos, perdon acolitos de esta desgraciada organizacion insultando al unico que consiguio unos resultados honrosos para iu.Garuulfour-Calle-A6 y dicen que cayene tambien, estara contento con las bolsas de basura que llegan a su casa, y la rubia cuenta y gasta ¿o esa era otra historia? ¿acabara igual esta?¿ Esta muy lejos Alhaurin de la torre del campo del tiro? ¿Iran los miserables estomagos agradecidos a verle cuan pantoja? ¿Saben ustedes si Alarico se a muerto................Politicamente, como no se le oye el que es tan comunista y por tanto de izquierdas?¿Les bajaran el sueldo a esta panda de bebebotellines con la crisis? besos La Jeni.
Por
La Jeni
(enviado 23/05/2010 @ 13:15:28)
¿Esta rubia es de las que en la frutería paga los dos euros de la lechuga con billetes de 200 euros?
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 23/05/2010 @ 16:37:55)
El alcalde llevará al pleno de junio una moción para pedirle a la comunidad? increíble,¿como permitió llegar a esa situación?,y ahora echarle la culpa a otros de su incompetencia,bochornoso
Por
valgo
(enviado 24/05/2010 @ 17:39:22)
CxC estais haciendo un buen trabajo, hay que estar ciego para no agradeceros la continuidad con la que nos estais haciendo llegar a los vecinos, cada paso, cada cacicada, es de agradecer que desde un sector de la Izquierda, tan maltratada, últimamente, al menos en Leganés, ya que los representantes que debieran gestionar los intereses de los ciudadanos con transparencia. se han empeñado de marcarse un paso equivocado, más cerca de la derecha y los intereses del ladrillo, decía, que se agradece que desde vuestro trabajo, gente de la izquierda, tengamos los vecinos la información suficiente para evaluar, lástima que no decidais formar un Grupo representativo en las próximas elecciones, bastante gente que votaba a iu, os darían a vosotros el voto de confianza que han perdido en iu.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 24/05/2010 @ 17:41:13)
Preocupante la información acerca de las 1000 viviendas de Leganés Norte, pero tambien me preocupa que se afirme "...no os pondríais a presionar a la Asociación de Vecinos de Leganés Norte tanto el PSOE como IU, haciendo ambos llamadas de teléfono hasta cuatro veces a varios miembros de la directiva".Esta afirmación no se ajusta a la verdad y resta credibilidad.
Gustavo Guzman (Miembro de la asociación de Vecinos)
Por
Gustavo Guzman
(enviado 25/05/2010 @ 22:16:20)
Gustavo, pero en vez de desmentir esa información diciendo que no se ajusta a la verdad, deberías dar tu versión. Puede que en ciertos detalles o en cuestiones secundarias sobre esas llamadas a los miembros de la directiva la información tenga alguna inexactitud, pero eso no le quita un ápice de credibilidad a la información principal, que es la construcción de las 1000 viviendas. Hay que saber distinguir lo importante de lo superfluo, pues lo de menos es que llamasen a uno o a varios. De paso, podíais dar la información que habéis recibido por parte del Ayuntamiento sobre el destino de esa parcela de la CAM.
¿O es que ha habido otra llamada pidiendo que la Asociación pusiese una rectificación en el blog de CxC?
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 25/05/2010 @ 23:09:44)
Gustavo podría decirnos algo de lo que dijo el Alcalde en la reunión con la Asociación de Vecinos.
¿Cuales fueron las palabras hacia el presidente?
Y de su escudero Campos ¿Cuales fueron sus palabras?
¿Que llamadas y de quienes del gobierno han recibido miembros de la Asociación?
¿Que pretendían estas llamadas? Tengo que decir que a mi me salen más de 4 llamadas.
¿Cuales han sido los calificativos hacia el presidente de tu Asociación por medio de dos cargos de confianza: asesores y al mas puro estilo del militante del "movimiento" "todo por el jefe".
Por cierto a estos "asesores del movimiento" más les valdría leerse las actas de los órganos de gobierno y expedientes municipales antes de hablar.
Podría seguir pero no quiero cansar..
Lo que es verdad es que el gobierno PSOE e IU ha engañado a los vecinos y ahora no sabe como salir de esta.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 26/05/2010 @ 00:30:24)
Una recomendación para Montoya:
Podría organizar una de esas charlas a lo americano "Tengo una pregunta para usted" en el barrio de Leganés Norte.
El acto quedaría de ***a madre ¿Y Monotoya?
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 26/05/2010 @ 00:33:09)
En el informe de CxC sobre la parcela de Leganés Norte decís que el Ayuntamiento podría revertir la cesión a la CAM y repartir esas cesiones por otros barrios. Eso es posible solamente si la cesión todavía no ha sido aceptada por la CAM; una vez aceptada ya es de su propiedad y es irreversible, pues el Ayuntamiento no puede revocar actos declarativos de derechos. Lo que sí podría hacerse es mediante permutas, para evitar esa concentración.
Hay parcelas públicas, pero no creo que quieran dárselas a la CAM. Las parcelas municipales procedentes de las cesiones de las juntas de compensación deberían destinarse por ley a vivienda protegida, pero el Ayuntamiento las ha convertido en un fondo de reserva de suelo a bajo precio para vivienda libre, a disposición de los promotores privados. El truco está en que en el PGOU calificaron todo el suelo urbanizable destinado a vivienda para vivienda libre, salvo la reserva del 50% para vivienda protegida que obliga la Ley del Suelo de Madrid. De este modo, hasta las parcelas adquiridas por el Ayuntamiento por cesiones urbanísticas son para vivienda libre. Esa fue la excusa que el Ayuntamiento dió en el recurso que presentó ULEG contra la venta de parcelas para chalés de lujo, que el PGOU les asignaba el uso de vivienda libre, y que por eso tenían que vender, porque no eran aptas para vivienda protegida; aunque la sentencia les dice que eso se arregla haciendo una modificación puntual del PGOU, porque hasta puede considerarse el PGOU contrario a la Ley del Suelo de Madrid en ese punto al calificar para vivienda libre todo el suelo.
Por
Anonimo
(enviado 26/05/2010 @ 21:45:09)
menuda movida!! si hasta la comunidad a salido a la palestra, ¡¡cuanto dinerito mueve urbanismo con razón el espectáculo en el que le dieron la alcaldía a la Guadalupe, alli, alli Calle quería meter sus garfios. ¡lamentable!
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(enviado 27/05/2010 @ 15:12:25)
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Modafinil
(enviado 07/08/2013 @ 12:59:24)
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
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VigRX
(enviado 10/08/2013 @ 08:04:15)
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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(enviado 10/08/2013 @ 16:24:32)
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Semenax
(enviado 11/08/2013 @ 01:14:10)
The covers of this book are too far apart.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Xanax
(enviado 11/08/2013 @ 17:09:44)
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
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VigRX
(enviado 12/08/2013 @ 09:09:53)
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Por
Maxoderm
(enviado 12/08/2013 @ 17:05:20)
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Por
Alteril
(enviado 14/08/2013 @ 01:33:23)
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Por
Valium
(enviado 14/08/2013 @ 09:40:09)
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
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Propecia
(enviado 18/08/2013 @ 23:12:01)
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Por
Priligi
(enviado 21/08/2013 @ 11:16:28)
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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Cialis
(enviado 29/08/2013 @ 16:33:04)
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Por
Fioricet
(enviado 02/09/2013 @ 14:30:13)
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Viagra
(enviado 04/09/2013 @ 09:54:12)
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Por
Levitra
(enviado 04/09/2013 @ 18:36:09)
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
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Cialis
(enviado 05/09/2013 @ 04:12:08)
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Por
GenF20
(enviado 05/09/2013 @ 12:40:52)
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Por
Bimaxx
(enviado 17/09/2013 @ 19:45:02)
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Por
Zanaflex
(enviado 19/09/2013 @ 00:14:01)
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The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Por
Caverta
(enviado 19/09/2013 @ 08:58:16)
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Por
Intivar
(enviado 19/09/2013 @ 17:51:30)
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Por
askobid
(enviado 19/09/2013 @ 17:53:33)
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Por
Bareback
(enviado 20/09/2013 @ 03:10:20)
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Por
Indocin
(enviado 20/09/2013 @ 03:10:20)
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Por
colothin
(enviado 21/09/2013 @ 15:27:10)
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Por
Asian Sex
(enviado 22/09/2013 @ 08:55:02)
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Por
p90x
(enviado 23/09/2013 @ 05:30:43)
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Por
Stilnox
(enviado 24/09/2013 @ 21:00:41)
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Por
GenF20
(enviado 25/09/2013 @ 07:15:57)
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Por
Hypercet
(enviado 27/09/2013 @ 00:28:57)
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Por
XtremeNO
(enviado 27/09/2013 @ 22:07:07)
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Por
Semenax
(enviado 03/10/2013 @ 07:48:43)
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Por
Priligy
(enviado 04/10/2013 @ 04:21:19)
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Por
Klonopin
(enviado 05/10/2013 @ 19:47:54)
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Por
VigRx
(enviado 06/10/2013 @ 05:51:23)
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Por
Extenze
(enviado 06/10/2013 @ 17:19:43)
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Por
Semenax
(enviado 09/10/2013 @ 08:06:14)
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Por
Genf20
(enviado 09/10/2013 @ 21:28:39)
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Por
HGH
(enviado 12/10/2013 @ 01:11:00)
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Por
Stendra
(enviado 14/10/2013 @ 15:57:55)
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Por
Viagra
(enviado 25/10/2013 @ 08:44:39)
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Por
Pokies
(enviado 25/10/2013 @ 18:52:09)
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Por
Cialis
(enviado 25/10/2013 @ 18:52:47)
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Por
Valium
(enviado 13/11/2013 @ 04:17:53)
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Por
Phen375
(enviado 13/11/2013 @ 19:52:36)
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Por
Phallosan
(enviado 13/11/2013 @ 19:53:15)
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Por
HGH
(enviado 14/11/2013 @ 03:42:33)
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Por
Boilx
(enviado 15/11/2013 @ 17:41:54)
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Por
V2 Cigs
(enviado 16/11/2013 @ 09:57:29)
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Por
Phen375
(enviado 16/11/2013 @ 18:39:50)
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Por
Oxycodone
(enviado 17/11/2013 @ 03:51:39)
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Por
Viagra
(enviado 24/11/2013 @ 08:35:48)
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Por
Cialis
(enviado 25/11/2013 @ 01:45:40)
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Por
Klonopin
(enviado 25/11/2013 @ 09:48:22)
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Por
Early hcg
(enviado 03/12/2013 @ 10:53:14)
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Por
Slots
(enviado 03/12/2013 @ 18:50:35)
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Por
Roulette
(enviado 09/12/2013 @ 19:42:16)
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Por
Semenax
(enviado 17/12/2013 @ 03:21:50)
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Por
Priligy
(enviado 20/12/2013 @ 00:42:50)
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Por
Cialis
(enviado 20/12/2013 @ 19:04:18)
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Por
Viagra
(enviado 21/12/2013 @ 16:23:01)
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Por
VigRX
(enviado 22/12/2013 @ 06:41:35)
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If thereÂ’s one thing I know itÂ’s God does love a good joke.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Por
Viagra
(enviado 25/12/2013 @ 02:00:47)
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Por
Cialis
(enviado 27/12/2013 @ 22:22:00)
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Por
Propecia
(enviado 28/12/2013 @ 07:22:54)
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Por
Pokies
(enviado 29/12/2013 @ 02:41:35)
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Por
Levitra
(enviado 30/12/2013 @ 18:17:50)
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Por
Cialis
(enviado 01/01/2014 @ 18:55:21)
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Por
Viagra
(enviado 05/01/2014 @ 02:23:11)
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Por
semenax
(enviado 06/01/2014 @ 16:15:40)
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Por
Propecia
(enviado 06/01/2014 @ 20:46:00)
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Por
levitra
(enviado 08/01/2014 @ 07:50:35)
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
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Extenze
(enviado 16/01/2014 @ 06:27:27)
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
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I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
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My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
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If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
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Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
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I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
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Semenax
(enviado 24/02/2014 @ 11:53:14)
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
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I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
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My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
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Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
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The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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Everything that can be invented has been invented.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
I am not young enough to know everything.
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
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I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
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C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
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Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
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In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
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Semenax
(enviado 27/04/2014 @ 14:40:42)
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
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If thereÂ’s one thing I know itÂ’s God does love a good joke.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
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Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
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Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
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There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
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genf20
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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extenze
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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HCG
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Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSIÂ !
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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